Heading into the jungle for a month or more...

I met a Dutch couple in a hostel in Santa Cruz (Bolivia) today who told me about a national park six hours away in the jungle run by an organisation called Inti Wara Yassi. From the website:

I have decided to leave Santa Cruz at 6am tomorrow and take the bus to Parque Ambue Ari. There I will live and work for a month (longer if I choose to stay) with monkeys and big cats in a wild reserve. The work is apparently hard, the hours long and in rainy season it can be epically hot with mosquitos up to your eyeballs. Repellent is not permitted because the animals don't like it. The park is in the middle of nowhere with no hot water or even electricity. Of course there is no internet so this will be my last post for a while.

This is the kind of opportunity I am always hoping to stumble across on my travels. I thought the park would be flooded with volunteers but apparently they are desperate for help and only have a small group of fifteen or so. You are allocated one or two big cats (like pumas, jaguars etc) and over the course of a month or more develop a bond of friendship with your animal as you spend six hours a day playing, walking and interacting with the cats. It looks to be an INCREDIBLE experience, I have long held a fascination with primates as well because we can learn a lot about human behaviour by watching them and the chance to work closely with a family group of monkeys is a rare one. I hope to take a lot of notes about their behaviour. The work will be hard, but listening to the couple tell me of their experience and seeing the fire in their eyes as they described the unique bond they developed with their big cat in this reserve has me very excited, I cannot believe an opportunity like this even exists. The prospect of a month or more of no communications might daunt some people but I look forward to it. I suppose I'll spend Christmas and New Year there. It's funny, everyone seems to ask where I'll spend Christmas and New Year like its a big deal, but I hadn't even really thought about it.

I will be parting ways with David here. We have been through some cool experiences together and he will always be welcome to my house wherever I live, but I am determined to go and the rough conditions to be expected are not everyone's cup of tea. David wants to go to Cuzco to party and meet women for New Year and I want a chance to work with some majestic and beautiful creatures. Everyone in life chases something different. I feel deeply privileged to have met David and had the chance to teach him some english. He is a rarely honest man with extremely solid values, I wish him the best of luck with his endeavors.

I guess you have your own reasons for reading this blog. I write it because it helps organise my thoughts and I like to share how I think and what I do in the hopes that perhaps it might prove useful to someone. If one person takes one sentence from this blog and uses it to help achieve something positive in their lives, it has been a success.

I have made a lot of extremely positive changes in my life and myself over the past year. Most of them stem from one pivotal moment in about February this year, that moment was when I watched this video. I know it sounds cheesy, dumb and lame, but it literally was the one key piece of the puzzle that changed my life. Please PLEASE watch it. I know I rave a lot about Tony Robbins, but it has some justification. I consider myself to be fairly smart in some areas but this man has genius I cannot even begin to comprehend. He understands the way we think beautifully and elegantly and knows exactly what to say to get the most out of you. I hope to one day possess one tenth of his self-awareness. Watch the video, even if you don't see much in it your subconscious will chew on it for a long long time and you WILL gain something from it. I'll stop plugging him for a while now I promise.

Someone told me the other day they were "living vicariously" through me and my blog. Don't do this. Don't live vicariously, live for yourself! I write this so I can prove that anyone can do what I do. You could buy a plane ticket to Honolulu tomomorrow and live in Hawaii for the rest of your life if you wanted to. Do something outrageous!

YOU are the only person who owns your life. YOU are the only person who is responsible for what you make of it. You do not need to justify what you do to ANYONE except yourself.

And the only person who is allowed to live vicariously through this blog is my mother ;-)

Chau, until... who knows when!

CIWY is a Bolivian organisation that works in defence of animal rights and the environment.

CIWY has founded and manages three wild animal refuges in Bolivia and strives to educate the Bolivian population to uphold values that promote life, conservation, preservation and the recuperation of biodiversity.

Trouble at the border

Currently sitting in a hotel in the Bolivian border town of Quijarro. I only got two hours of sleep during one of the craziest nights of my life.

Last night I stayed in the Brasilian town of Corumba, close to the border. It was a long and hot bus ride from Bonito so I was glad to relax in a quiet hostel and play some guitar for a few hours. I was sharing a room with a Pierre, a bearded, portly Canadian, Luke, a loud and crazy brasilian, and Pablo, the hyperactive young hostel worker. The three decided to go out and find some beers while I stayed behind and played, but when they returned we hung around for a while and chatted. I don't drink any more but I was happy to chill with them, they were in a pretty merry mood. Apparently Pablo knew of some club in Corumba with a bunch of girls so they were snorting some coke, drinking and generally putting themselves in a fairly partied up state.

I don't usually have a problem with other people doing drugs - as long as it doesn't affect me I don't give a crap what they do to get themselves off, but I no longer have any interest in taking anything myself that takes my mentality away from sober, it's simply too dangerous here to be in an altered mental state. I was happy to go with them to the nightclub though even though I wasn't drinking and we had a pretty good time, I hit on some Brasilian chicks despite speaking absolutely no Portuguese. Interestingly this allows you to say whatever the hell you want in English because they can't understand you anyway so I had some fun with that.

I started to get a slight uneasy feeling while Pierre was knocking back his third bottle of vodka. After telling him to take it easy I was met with a 'EVERYONE is my BEST FRIEND here!' after which he started pole dancing. Luke was off somewhere trying to pull 'Im so horny man, all these girls so hot, I gotta fuck something'. Then it turned out that Pablo had lied about the girls and also had absolutely no money so Luke and Pierre started yelling at him and had to cover his red label purchase coming to about 120 Reais, Pablo left the club after this. Luke was alternating between grinding with this ridiculously gross fat chick and trying to keep Pierre out of too much trouble, which was tricky because he had taken to running round the club calling everyone a fag and giving us serious grief. He eventually punched Luke in the face and both were thrown out of the club, with Luke's fatty in tow.

Getting Pierre home was a major trial, I have never seen a man that drunk. Upon our return Luke started screaming at Pablo in Portuguese and Pierre began the process of destroying the dorm room with a half empty whiskey bottle in one hand. I tried to figure out what the problem was while Pierre continued to rampage around like an epileptic moose. Turns out Pablo had sneaked back to the hostel and stolen then snorted all of Luke's coke. Luke, on the comedown was paranoid and angry and spitting Portuguese at Pablo at a rate of knots, then the girls kicked up because it turns out the chick that Luke was grinding with was actually a prostitute and wanted paying 100 Reais already.

Stealing drugs is a major problem, someone who has an addiction problem bad enough to do this is unpredictable and likely to steal other things as well. I really did not want to be involved with drug trouble this close to the border so I decided it was time to bail out of there, after forcing some water down Pierre's throat I hurriedly paid, jumped in a taxi to the border and got the hell out of there. We left Pierre passed the fuck out on a bench, boy is that guy gonna go through some serious trauma when he wakes up.

Got through the border around lunchtime without any major dramas except for some reason I only had an Argentine exit stamp and no Brasilian entry stamp in my passport so according to all records I was never even in Brasil. No idea how that happened, thank christ the border official was understanding. Finally made it into Bolivia, its so relieving to be back in a country where I actually speak the language. Now please excuse me while I go collapse quietly somewhere.

Snorkeling the River Sucuri

Today David and I went to the Rio Sucuri, 20km from Bonito. I used to have several aquariums and kept fish for a long time, so to go and actually see South American tropical fish in their natural habitat was a surreal and wonderful experience for me.

This was without doubt the most beautiful river I have ever seen. An incredible setting, peace broken only by the calls of birds and monkeys, and water so clear it almost wasn't there. After donning wetsuits, snorkels and other annoying but necessary gear for traversing the underwater world, we hopped in a rickety boat and paddled upstream.

Forging a path by rowing boat over crystal waters through the jungle in South Brazil - this was living the dream. Well, it was for the first five minutes, after which my arms started to hurt and I felt like I was melting in my wetsuit. Ambient temperature +35C, wetsuit on, hard physical labour rowing upstream... mmmm I love bathing in my own sweat don't you?

But the burn in my arms couldn't distract me from the awesome beauty of the place and I ploughed upwards with renewed enthusiasm. Finally we arrived at a wooden jetty. As soon as I plunged backwards into that blissful cool water I knew it was worth it. I'll let the photos do the talking from now. Click on them to see a slideshow. Suffice to say this was one of the most peaceful and beautiful days I have ever had.

Brazil and the Pantanal

I am currently sitting in a hostel in Bonito, sipping a mango and banana smoothie, made from fruit that I picked up from under a tree outside. This morning David and I cycled the 7km to the national park in Bonito where there is a river with the most crystal clear water in Brazil. Throngs of fish surrounded me as I swam there, I took my camera and got some cool photos.

So the last few days I have been trekking through the Pantanal in the south of Brazil. It is one of the most ecologically diverse areas on the planet. After arriving in Campo Grande I took a minibus for four hours to a town called Miranda, then afterwards in the back of a pickup truck into the jungle for three hours to a small camp. Excerpt from my journal:

"It is... ludicrously, insanely, face-meltingly hot. We are in hammocks in the jungle, the netting keeps out mosquitos like the Australian border keeps out immigrants. The place is CRAWLING with insects and other wildlife. My skin is covered in this thick slime of repellent, sunscreen, sweat and squashed bugs. The humidity is a thick choking blanket that smothers everything. I doubt I will sleep much in this muggy dark. Tomorrow we rise at 5 to go on a safari walk through the jungle. This is the most alive place I have ever seen, EVERYTHING crawls, buzzes, growls, bites or climbs. I am strumming some quiet chords while the guys sit around me exchanging deep philosophical musings. At least I assume that's what they're saying, I can only guess as its all in Portuguese and I don't understand a word."

The noise of the jungle woke me up every morning at 5am. HOLY SHIT can howler monkeys make a lot of noise, I thought there was a jaguar roaring right outside the door. Spent the next two days trekking, taking a boat ride in a tropical thunderstorm, night safari and pirhana fishing. Amazing time.

I met this guy David on the tour. He is a Brazilian traveller who is prepared for EVERYTHING, seriously, the guy has four knives, three ponchos and a freakin' portable HAMMER. He's a great cook and about as crazy as me so I think we might travel Bolivia together for a while. I'm teaching him english and he is teaching me some Portuguese. We made the trip to Bonito together, tomorrow we are going to the river Sucurri to snorkel and take some photos of the fish, after that Corumba and then Bolivia. It's only been a short trip through Brazil but an incredibly beautiful part of the world.

Looking back through my journal I found something that sticks out. In the middle of the page I have written, underlined and circled:


"People fundamentally want to help each other!"


This is an attitude I have been forming for a while but copied a lot off Lily, the amazing woman who organises LIFE charity. She has this belief that everybody wants to help her all the time and nine times out of ten it turns out to be true. Similarly, David is one of those guys that talks to everyone, through him we got a cheap lift to Bonito from the jungle camp with a friend of the brother of the manager there, cheaper hostel rental because the same person owns this one as the one in Campo Grande, and a bunch of other stuff. A total stranger hitched me a lift 7km from the bus station to the centre of Campo Grande and he wasn't even going the same way! Turns out when you talk to people and explain your situation, they will usually be only too happy to help you.

I was worried before I left that travelling by myself might be lonely, but it turns out that... everyone I meet is my friend for the time I am with them. I try to be open and friendly with strangers, and wouldn't you know it most of the time they are open and friendly back, and there you have it, instant friendship. You get out what you put in.

I have been practising guitar every day, my practise log is a few posts below. Six hours a day is incompatible with my travelling schedule, I want to have SOME time for other activities. But 3 hours is easily doable so I try now to aim for 3-6 hours a day. 4.5 is ideal. If I keep it a regular part of my day, I can easily continue with this level of output.

I think everyone should try to learn to play an instrument. In addition to learning the mechanics of playing, I am also learning much more about myself and how I learn (call this meta-learning if you like). Developing a good set of strategies for learning a skill is probably the most useful skill you will ever develop, because it stays with you for a lifetime and can be applied to everything you do.

But remember, dabbling every now and then is not learning. Doing the same thing you know how to do over and over is not learning. Reading about something is not learning. Fantasising and THINKING about doing something is not learning.


Learning is acquisition of new information, then consistently applying it until it becomes second nature.


I'll leave you with some thoughts that Tim Ferris had on the same subject. Although I sometimes think Tim's writing can be a little sensationalist, I greatly admire and hope to emulate his passion for life and learning. Give yourself the gift of reading this, there's some wisdom here:

http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2011/11/16/filling-the-void-thoughts-on-learning-and-karma/#more-6281

Iguazu Falls

8/12

In standard Argentine fashion the train workers were striking so there was a replacement bus service for the same price. I had to wait three hours for it but it was ten times more comfortable than the train would have been and I still saved money, worked out rather well actually.

The falls were... truly mindblowing. I have never seen something before that was literally breathtaking, but when I caught my first glimpse of the falls I actually caught my breath a few times, and that's making a serious statement.

Inpossibly vast swirls of water swim lazily to the edge of the precipice then hurl themselves downwards in violently furious cataracts, while birds swoop through the misty haze below and butterflies hover around your head. Indiana Jones would feel at home here. I spent the day with two fun Columbian girls that I had met in a hostel the night before and we all agreed it was one of the most incredible things we had ever seen. None of us wanted to leave. Something about being near the falls just... makes you happy. One of the most incredible days of my life.

For the first time in maybe ever, words fail me and trust me, photos do not do justice to this spectacular wonder. Believe the hype. Go see it.

9/11

So I'm sitting on a bus on my way to Campo Grande. Somehow I am now in Brasil. I bought a ticket on the spur of the moment this morning, the seller told me only two things, Foz do Iguazu and leave no later than 2:30. Turns out apparently the bus leaves from Foz do Iguazu which is another city across the border in Brasil. I had to take a colectivo from Puerto Iguazu through customs, arrived at some place the driver had (I think) told me was the central bus station but my micro was nowhere to be found. I managed to surmise after several utterly baffling conversations with locals that the international bus station was way out of town. Brasil is an hour ahead of Argentina so at this point I was running a little low on time.

Arriving in Brasil is... frustrating. Portugese is just enough like Spanish for me to THINK I understand what someone is saying, until they reach the end of their sentence and I realise I have absolutely no idea what a single word meant. I'd only just started to get a good grip on Spanish comprehension and now I am back to square one. Doh! I open my mouth and spanish comes out but all I receive are bemused looks of incomprehension. Typically nowhere accepts Pesos and I don't have any Brasilian money so I have to find a cash point, run back, throw myself and my bags onto a crowded, hot colectivo at the last minute and pray that it takes me to the bus station.

I managed to make myself understood to the guy sitting in front of me by jabbing furiously at a map and grunting, he told me to get off at the next stop. Not sure if he was being helpful or just wanted me to leave, but as luck would have it the next stop did indeed lead me to the international bus station and I had half an hour to spare before my micro left.

The ordeal wasn't over - I was waiting in line, tired dischevelled and looking forward to sitting down for a while when I was assaulted by two Brasilian soldiers with guns. They pushed through the crowd and made a beeline towards me whereby they started yammering furiously and pointing at my crotch. I took off all my bags but they still weren't satisfied until they had looked inside my money belt. No idea if they were checking for guns or drugs or what but in answer to your question, yes I did poop myself a little. Maybe it had something to do with when I had whipped off my shorts in public five mintues earlier in order to pull on a pair of jeans. Hey, those South American buses are SERIOUSLY cold, they seem to all set the aircon at minus five degrees and I wasn't about to spend another journey shivering my nuts off.

I'd like to take a moment at this point to express my gratitude. I am so lucky it brings me almost to tears, my education (not just school, I mean generally) has been exceptional and I am armed with all the tools I need to get wherever I want to go in life. I live an exciting existence, from one breathtaking moment to the next, I ride an emotional rollercoaster with only my guitar and a guidebook for company. Everywhere I go I meet amazing people. I appreciate the gift I have been given and want to grab every opportunity I can so I don't waste it.

We have stopped at a station and my next bus hasn't shown up. I would have absolutely no idea what is going on, everything is spat at me in brutally unintelligable Portuguese. Luckily I ended up sitting next to a gorgeous Brasilian chick who speaks a little english. I had already chatted to her for a while and she was happy to take on the role of translator for me and made sure I got on the correct bus with her. Thank Christ, I would never have figured it out on my own, if she hadn't helped me I'd probably still be stuck in a bus station somewhere.

10/12

Arrived in the bus terminal at Campo Grande this morning. Wandered out in a daze, absolutely no idea where I was. Managed to hitch a lift into town with this really cool Brasilian dude who spoke a little Spanish. My first time hitchhiking! He dropped me off right at the tourist office, I offered him money but he refused to take it so I gave him my sincere thanks and a pat on the shoulder and he was off. Now I gotta look for a tour of the Pantanal with a reputable operator. This is one of the most ecologically diverse areas on the planet and I want to take full advantage. I know they do river snorkelling here as well which frankly has me creaming my pants at the thought, so time for me to get off the computer and sort out a tour! Hasta Luego!

Leaving Buenos Aires

The time has come to move on from Buenos Aires after five weeks here. My current host Lucy is far more generous than I could have ever expected and staying with her has been a lot of fun, but I am becoming very restless and I need a change of scenery.

My next destination is Iguazu Falls, allegedly one of the most spectacular natural wonders of the world. There are two possible ways in which to get there from Buenos Aires.

1) The very comfortable and reliable overnight bus with "semi-cama" (reclining bed-seats) service, aircon, hot meals and movies for entertainment. Most sensible people will take this option and spend only 18 hours travelling before arriving well rested in Iguacu. Price: $450AR
2) The very slow, hot and uncomfortable train with no reclining seats, taking at least 30 hours. What food they serves you barely deserves the name, the toilets probably consist of a jagged hole in the floor with no paper and brown shrapnel plastered over everything and there are over FIFTY stops between Buenos Aires and Posadas, where you THEN have to stay overnight and take a bus the next day to Iguazu. Price for tourist (aka bend-over-boy-its-going-in-dry) class: $150AR

Obviously I chose the train looking at that incredible list of positives. Am I a masochist? Maybe a little, but I believe that travelling is about the journey and I can take a comfortable air conditioned bus back home if I want to. A shitty third world train is far more interesting and more likely for me to actually learn something from the experience, which is after all why I am here. Besides, it's cheaper.

Practice log

"What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task."

-Viktor E. Frankl, Holocaust survivor


Guitarwise, it turns out (dear lord who'da thunk?) that six hours of focussed practice per day is HARD. I take it in 30 minute chunks, taking a five minute break between sessions and usually try to tackle it four chunks at a time. Even so, I haven't been successful in getting six hours in most days due to mental exhaustion or lack of time due to travelling etc. On the flip side, I am improving at a phenomenal rate with this much practice. Every day it gets easier to work for a little longer and I can notice the results, my fingers are becoming more controlled, more agile, and I make less mistakes with the exercises every day.

I had some thoughts about learning while I was practising today and scribbled some waffle in my book:

The brain is a statistical learning engine of some considerable power. It contains within it a flexible model of the world which is refined every time you give it input. Actually its world model is so complex it actually contains a simplified model of itself within it. This is your sense of self. It is VERY IMPORTANT to remember that this model of self is INACCURATE and constantly changing. IGNORE what your conscious mind tells you about how difficult learning is and your limitations because YOUR MODEL OF SELF IS ALWAYS PLAYING CATCHUP (essentially, get out of your own head!).

Learning is not difficult. It happens without you really needing to even think about it. All you need to do is submit to your brain as much information about the thing you are trying to model as possible. In this example my brain is building a model of a guitar and it's extremely convoluted relation to both music theory and the muscles that control my fingers. This is not a trivial model to build. But if I sit back and supply information to it about the system (this is what practice achieves) then it will quietly go about refining the model all by itself. I have been struggling with one particular exercise over and over this past week. Every day I would spend half an hour screwing it up a hundred times. Today, inexplicably, I can play it with close to no mistakes every time. My brain finally figured out a model that works better because I supplied it with thousands of ways NOT to do it (mistakes).

tl;dr - MORE FAILURE = FASTER LEARNING

In fact we can even simplify that little phrase to:

FAILING = LEARNING

And it does. The one thing every person who succeeds far beyond average has in common is that they screwed up more than anyone else in pursuit of one particular goal. So every time we mess up, we should be happy that we learned something and jump eagerly into the next opportunity to do it better.

Practice log:

1/12 - 4.5H
Had to cut short due to hand cramps, did a little theory instead.

2/12 - 2.5H
Went into town in the afternoon and didn't get back til very late, not really an excuse.

3/12 - 6H
My sense of time is getting fucked up, I woke up at 17:00 today. It is now 6:00 and I am not tired yet.

Today I went to the park near Lucy's house to sit quietly and practise outside. I saw two stoner-looking guys sitting on a log with a guitar so I went and said hi. We chatted a little in spanish then they asked me to play. I played some simple chord progressions and one of the guys soloed over the top of my playing, we jammed for about an hour. My first time jamming guitar with random musicians! I think this is an incredible key moment in my journey towards becoming a guitar player. This is what it's really all about. It has given me new reserves of fire and drive for practising. Taking a moment to reflect on my life right now, I am living with a girl in a city in a strange country, learning a new language and guitar at the same time, spending barely $10 a day. This is living. I am truly free. It seems I am most happy when I am learning at the highest intensity I can manage. Whatever I did to end up in this situation right now, it was the right choice.

4/12 - 4H

5/12 - 5H + 1H playtime
Discovered an awesome Simon and Garfunkel song called Richard Cory which I am learning.

6/12 - 0.5H
Bus travel all day, squeezed in 30 mins of barre chord practice in the station before I left.

7/12 - 2.5H
Working on octave jump string exercises, simple melodies and some chord change practice. Also aiming for 30 minutes of barre chord attempts every day.

8/12 - 3H
Ended up on some chord work, had to stop because my hands were hurting.

9/12 - 2H
Travelled on the bus most of the day

10/12 - 4H

11/12 - 3H
Learning guitar in the jungle AWWW YEAAAH

12/12 - 2H20

13/12 - 3H

Shoe drop journal part 3

24/11



More shoes to give out today. I am still exhausted from yesterday, we are working 12 hour days, it is very hot and sticky and I have no clean clothes left. I am currently sitting in the back of Carlos's ancient rustwagon (see video above) flinching every time it backfires underneath me. I fear for my balls, I half a expect a part of the transmission to explode up through the seat any moment, leaving only a bloodied gash in the ceiling where I was once sitting. To my right is a mountain of boxes crammed into every available space, I am squeezed into the left hand side adjacent to a door with an alarming tendency to open itself at random intervals and swing out over the road. Obviously I am considered more expendable than the shoes.

25/11

Woke up at 7am AGAIN, unwashed. Crammed some bread down then immediately jumped into heaving boxes of shoes. First school done at 10am. Last day today, kinda glad to be finishing soon but in a good mood. I saw the coolest little kid today, he had a pair of aviators and looked like a five year old Tom Cruise. I gave him some cool shoes to go with his look. Afternoon was just as hectic as the morning. Finally finished about 4, not its 5 and we are leaving Formosa after a hurried packing. I made sure to say a huge thank you to Carlos and hi wife, despite being poor they have been generous beyond words, Carlos has been a shoe-fitting machine and his wife, as well as washing our clothes has cooked some seriously fantastic meals, mostly from home grown vegetables and meat. We received awards from the town council for our effort. Not sure what to do with mine, its wooden and weighs about two kilos. I suppose I'll just leave it in the LIFE office. Lily just told us that we handed out over 5000 pairs of shoes to impoverished kids over the last two weeks- I think that's an incredible result and although I have a few misgivings, I am overwhelmingly glad to have been a part of the project. I have discovered a new part of myself and learned things I never even knew about before. Marion, Tom and Lily: fantastic work guys!

As we embark on our mammoth 1500km drive back to Buenos Aires, I am rocking out to Def Leppard in the back of the car. Just four short weeks and I have learned basic Spanish, fitted 1200 pairs of shoes to filthy little feet, taught maths to vagrants in the slums, watched a bongo drum show, almost been scammed, been pick pocketed, slept on a lot of different couches, met some incredible people, illegally crossed a country border and bought a hat Indiana Jones would be proud to own. And my journey is only just beginning! I can't wait to see what is around the next corner!

A Haiku

fading rainbow
gold chases away
we run again


What are we chasing?

The 6x6 challenge

The relationship between commitment and ultimate success has preying on my mind on and off over the last year or so.

It is starting to become obvious to me (and the patterns become more obvious the more I read and the more people I meet) that the reason most people never succeed is really for one of two reasons:

1) They don't have a goal to focus on
2) They do have a goal but fail to commit to achieving it

What do I mean by this?

Imagine you are a sailboat in the middle of the ocean of life. Pushed and pulled by the wind and tides, you mill around and follow a haphazard path dictated mostly by random chance, never getting anywhere. Sometimes you see a mirage on the horizon and chase it for a while before the wind changes and it suddenly seems easier to go with the wind in a different direction for a while. You don't know where you want to go and are too scared to start sailing one way for sure in case you head in the wrong direction. This is the vast majority of people's lives.

Now, let's imagine you want to get to a port. You don't really know exactly where it is yet but you have a vague idea of how to get there so you set sail and go. Six months later you see another boat and ask directions only to find out you set off in the wrong direction and have to make a huge detour to get back on track. At this point you can choose to give up, or to use what you have learned to more accurately guide you towards your goal. Along the way you encounter storms that blow you off course, tides that make progress almost impossible, but sometimes also fair winds and clear skies that see you zipping along towards your destination. Eventually, after some years, you find you have covered thousands of kilometres in the right direction and you cannot comprehend how far you have come. This is the life of a successful business owner, or politician, or actor, or singer, or rock star, or olympic athlete.

What is the difference? The person who succeeds in the long run knows WHERE they want to get to, and COMMITS to getting there no matter what. That constant push even in the face of adversity, even when they seem to be going backwards, is EXACTLY what gets them to their goal.

After having crystallised it in my mind like this, it seems self evident and ridiculous that anybody would think otherwise. I am baffled by the myriad hordes that surround me of people who constantly wish for things yet never put their mind to actually getting them.

But as with everything, once you possess the knowledge, it is always obvious. It's the DISCOVERING of it that's the hard part (I think Isaac Newton may have said that but not sure). Everything I have ever learned from other people, from physics, from evolutionary theory and from observation of natural systems all mirror this pattern. Entropy is the natural order of things. In order for progress to be made against entropy, there MUST be a consistent driving stressor towards an ultimate, static goal. In evolution this ultimate goal is reproduction. In physics it is represented as an energy differential. Whatever the system, the pattern is the same.



Enough waffle. How can we actually APPLY this theory and get some real world results? Well I'm gonna test it. I'm starting the 6x6 challenge. For the next six days I will play six hours of focussed guitar every day. I don't mean sitting in front of the TV fiddling with some lick I got from inaccurate internet tab. I mean learning scales, note drills, sheet music and perfecting chord transitions. Proper learning. And I will document it in my journal to hold myself accountable.

I don't know if I can keep this up for six months. But one week is a much easier goal to shoot for, and if I manage one, well another one probably won't look so hard by then, and after two weeks, it would be a shame to give up when I'm already over halfway to three wouldn't it? ;-)

I try never to talk about doing something and not do it myself, so here is me walking the talk and applying my thoughts. Expect updates on my progress here.

Shoe drop journal part 2

20/11

Today we ate Asado for breakfast. For those that don't know, Asado is a kind of Argentine national dish, it's basically a big bbq where they eat every part of the cow. Very fatty meat, very delicious. Kinda odd to have it for breakfast though but hey, I'm not complaining. One of the other women volunteering had kindly offered us her hospitality, it was amazing. I am so grateful to these guys, despite being very poor, they are so incredibly generous. I have paid for almost nothing except petrol on this trip so far. Hotel was free, steak ordered at 2am in said hotel was free, meals have been free, pizza was paid for by another volunteer and so was the beer.

After we ate, a van turned up from Radio Guemes and interviewed Lily for 15 minutes about LIFE and the work we were doing! I got a mention on the radio. I've no idea how they knew where we were but it was very cool.

The people we have been working with have all been extremely patient with my poor grasp on the language and have put a greal deal of effort into making me feel included regardless. I am learning a lot about human nature on this trip. Yes, the darker side is exposed in the crime in Bs As and the terrible state of some of the villages we delivered shoes to, but there are also these shining examples of pure generosity given freely without even thought of receiving anything in return. The human spirit is alive and kicking here too.

The Argentines (like a lot of South Americans I would imagine) are very physical, and there seems to be a lot of hugging a kissing. It is very common even for men to greet each other with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I think this physicality does a lot to foster an atmosphere of friendship and trust, something that is often notably lacking in Western culture. Today we go to Salta. Not sure yet what we are going to do there. By the way, I took my piercing out today. It wasn't healing properly and although I liked the look, I was becoming frustrated with it getting caught on my clothes all the time.

21/11

Spent the night in Salta. Nice city, quiter and cleaner (and much smaller) than Bs As. We are seeing some mountains today apparently. I realise more and more that sightseeing is not really my thing. Yes, the scenery is beautiful, but I'd rather climb one beautiful mountain than snap photos of a thousand. We passed this incredible geyser at one point, it stank of sulphur, I wanted to look but I was referred to a sign that said "keep out." The fence was easily climbable, I would have definitely climbed over and had a look but the others were happy to take a photo and carry on. I prefer to taste, touch, smell, dive into and climb over my surroundings, not click click click photos from inside a hot car and think I've experienced a country. Salta had bungee jumping opportunities but I didn't have time to try it sadly. I WILL find a place to do it on my travels somewhere. I think that mental reference of such a leap of faith could be incredibly powerful.

We have arrived at the most peaceful place in the world. I see a flat grassy plain, a shallow bowl with a lake sitting gently at the bottom and horses punctuating the grass here and there. One has a foal wih her. Eagles glide lazily overhead. All is quiet except for the wind and the bell on a horses neck that chimes occasionally. I can imagine a buddist retreat being sited here. Sadly, our time was cut short and we had to leave. Such are the limitations of travelling with others. I would have liked to bring my guitar here and spend a few days practicing all day in the tranquility. This is a place for quiet reflection, meditation and skill building.

We are driving through a valley of craggy giants. Glaciers axed out a brutal path here once. Incredible.

We arrive in a town called Tilcara. It looks like a settlement from the old west. I half expect to see a Sheriff's office and a saloon. There are horses and everyone is wearing sombreros. We took lunch in a quiet restaurant, shaded from the midday heat. I ate llama, it was like beef a little but leaner and delicious.

We visited a village and admired the "seven coloured mountain" there. I bought an awesome hat in the market here. The air is very thin, Tom and I raced each other up the side of a hill, I won but barely and I was sucking air like a vacuum cleaner. I feel ALIVE here. This is truly living in the moment. There were some restored Inca ruins nearby, stone houses with mud roofs. I wonder how the roofs stand up to the rain? It must be very dry here. I climbed a small pyramid, this made Lily very upset. It was worth it though.

We arrived in a very poor town after a flat tire which Lily insisted on driving on for ten minutes before we finally convinced her to pull over and let us change it. Some of Lily's friends, a young couple with a toddler had invited us into their tiny one room apartment for dinner. I was touched by their generosity - a family with so little that they must share the one room with their kid and the kitchen, still were proud to share with us their food and home. Gives some perspective on home life. We were total strangers and yet they offered us their hospitality freely. Amazing people. There is hope for humanity after all!

Trying to sleep in the same hotel room as Lily. She snores like a freight train.

22/11

I need to spend less money. Right now I am exceeding my budget of $100AR a day. On the way to Formosa we are stopped by a roadblock. A group of protesters from the slums have blocked the road in an attempt to force the government to provide them with... something or other. The queue stretches for some kilometers. Ironically these people are unknowingly holding up the very industry that provides for them in the first place, I see a lot of trucks stuck here. Hell, they're holding US up and all we wanna do is give them free shoes! But due to a lack of education they have no understanding of this. These people have grown up in an environment where they have LEARNED HELPLESSNESS as a way of life. Everything they have was given to them so they never learned to create for themselves. Their reality consists of a largely unknown body that provides for them. It's not their fault, years of conditioning have cultivated this mentality, they never had the necessity of learning the concept of value trading that underpins all functional civilised societies. By giving out shoes, am I helping to solve a problem or perpetuate it?

There is a short term focus on fixing the SYMPTOMS of a problem whilst failing to recognise that this exacerbates the CAUSE. We cannot abandon people who are culturally and educationally impoverished, that would be inhumane. But a more callused, probably more unpopular approach is absolutely required or this country will drown under the crushing weight of socially defunct masses. A serious effort must be made in education, the over population problem must be addressed HARD. Perhaps use China as a model as they are the only country to have successfully dealt with these issues. Perhaps a concept of rewarding self-sufficiency with infrastructure improvements? Yes I believe this would cause starvation, screaming and begging in the short term. But necessity is the mother of invention and with enough pressure, natural human creativity will surface again and the people will start to help themselves. If a fat child cries for chocolate, is it kinder to give it to him and reward this behaviour, or withhold it knowing that this benefits him in the long run?

Today I undertook a beliefs exercise from my Tony Robbins book. I have been doing a few of these but I include this one because I was surprised and gratified to find out what my three most empowering beliefs are and I would like to share these with you.

1) No matter what happens, I can handle it.
2) If I work consistently towards achieving a goal, I will succeed.
3) There is always a way to turn things around if I am committed (shamelessly stolen from Tony).

Every time I am faced with a problem or challenge, I try to apply these three beliefs in order to help me arrive at a decent decision.

Tom is an interesting guy. We arrived tonight in Formosa to meet an old man called Carlos (another friend of Lily's, does she know everyone in this country?) who led us to a tiny house in a crazy dirt avenue. He drove the most ANCIENT blue rustbucked I have ever seen. It sounded as if the engine were full of rocks. After dinner, there was a dogfight in the house. The place is full of stray dogs. One of the dogs latched onto another's throat like a limpet and tried to choke the life out of it. The old man hit the attacking dog with a broom to no avail and it looked as if the victim dog really might die. I was bitten by my cousin's dog recently and I am still nervous around dogs, I am ashamed to admit I didn't want to go near them. But Tom leapt in and punched the offending dog repeatedly in the head until it let go. I spoke to him about the incident afterwards. He, interestingly, likened it to stepping in if he saw a woman about to be raped. He said it is important to act even if you are afraid. This is what courage really is. Not action without fear, but action in the face of fear. We must disregard the frightened animal within us and do what is right regardless. Would I have the balls to step in if I saw, for example, a woman about to be raped by three men? I think so. I sincerely hope so.

Some unknown, inner drive has led me to this place. Recognising how lucky I am in my own life, I try to follow a path that will bring some value to others. It is time to hold myself to a higher standard. Apparently I can tolerate one dog killing another in front of me without taking action, allowing myself to be paralyzed by fear. What core values do I hold that would have to be violated to truly compel me to act in circumstances such as these? Worth thinking about BEFORE we are actually faced with the real situation.

Now I sleep in a crazy tiny house on a rickety wooden bed in an unknown part of Formosa in the northwest of Argentina. Tomorrow we go to hand out a thousand pairs of shoes. I hope at least one pair makes a real difference to somebody.

23/11

We arise at 8:30, no time for breakfast, straight into loading boxes of shoes. Shod our first school by 10:30. I don't care that I haven't eaten. These kids were excited, grateful and ALIVE unlike the others we saw last week. I feel privileged to be a part of this endeavor, the shoes might actually make a difference in these kids! The distinction between these and the dead-eyed creatures living in the villages is EDUCATION. Therein lies the key. The school clapped and cheered as we left. I am buoyed by optimism and hope. We can make a difference! I found a louse in Marion's hair this morning. I hope I don't have them, that would suck GINORMOUS hairy balls. Tambien, estoy feliz hoy porque my espanol esta de nuevo mejor! In the afternoon, more throngs of excited, giggling (and sometimes even half disciplined!) children. Put a lot of shoes on dirty little feet. I am hot, it is 35 degrees and hellishly humid, unwashed and hungry but satisfied.

I'd like to make some comments about Argentina in general while I remember, unrelated to shoes. Firstly, get a grip guys, your diet SUCKS. Loads of bread, pastry, very fatty meats and sweets. Also pizza. My personal pet hate is this crap called dulce de leche (literally: sweet of milk) that they cram into, onto or over anything they can. It's just boiled down milk with sugar and it tastes gross as well as being incredibly bad for you. We are lucky that our current hosts grow a lot of their own vegetables so my diet has taken an upward swing.

Secondly, the Argentine driving, Jesus Christ. They drive like a panicked horde of rats, desperately trying to claw split seconds from each other. Lane markings may as well not be there and they play a game of "anticipate the green light" at traffic lights - by the time it goes green, most of them are long gone. And god help you if you're a pedestrian, they don't slow down when you cross even on the zebra crossings, they just flash and honk at you until you dive out of the way. Lily has performed some overtake manouvres that would cause Schumacker to wet himself in terror and we have only barely avoided becoming churri-pan on the front of a four wagon semi more than once.

I managed a human flag today, pretty proud of that. My guitar playing is also going well, 2.5 hours today. But I don't think it's enough. Dabbling in something shows INTEREST. But if you truly want to elevate this interest to a COMMITMENT, 30 minutes of practice a day is not enough. Neither is 2 hours a day.

COMMITMENT is 6 hours a day, 6 days a week, for 6 months. Can I increase my efforts to this level? I don't know. But its a good goal to shoot for and with gradual improvement every day maybe I can get close. I will try to commit more to guitar.


To be continued...