Shoe drop journal part 2

20/11

Today we ate Asado for breakfast. For those that don't know, Asado is a kind of Argentine national dish, it's basically a big bbq where they eat every part of the cow. Very fatty meat, very delicious. Kinda odd to have it for breakfast though but hey, I'm not complaining. One of the other women volunteering had kindly offered us her hospitality, it was amazing. I am so grateful to these guys, despite being very poor, they are so incredibly generous. I have paid for almost nothing except petrol on this trip so far. Hotel was free, steak ordered at 2am in said hotel was free, meals have been free, pizza was paid for by another volunteer and so was the beer.

After we ate, a van turned up from Radio Guemes and interviewed Lily for 15 minutes about LIFE and the work we were doing! I got a mention on the radio. I've no idea how they knew where we were but it was very cool.

The people we have been working with have all been extremely patient with my poor grasp on the language and have put a greal deal of effort into making me feel included regardless. I am learning a lot about human nature on this trip. Yes, the darker side is exposed in the crime in Bs As and the terrible state of some of the villages we delivered shoes to, but there are also these shining examples of pure generosity given freely without even thought of receiving anything in return. The human spirit is alive and kicking here too.

The Argentines (like a lot of South Americans I would imagine) are very physical, and there seems to be a lot of hugging a kissing. It is very common even for men to greet each other with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I think this physicality does a lot to foster an atmosphere of friendship and trust, something that is often notably lacking in Western culture. Today we go to Salta. Not sure yet what we are going to do there. By the way, I took my piercing out today. It wasn't healing properly and although I liked the look, I was becoming frustrated with it getting caught on my clothes all the time.

21/11

Spent the night in Salta. Nice city, quiter and cleaner (and much smaller) than Bs As. We are seeing some mountains today apparently. I realise more and more that sightseeing is not really my thing. Yes, the scenery is beautiful, but I'd rather climb one beautiful mountain than snap photos of a thousand. We passed this incredible geyser at one point, it stank of sulphur, I wanted to look but I was referred to a sign that said "keep out." The fence was easily climbable, I would have definitely climbed over and had a look but the others were happy to take a photo and carry on. I prefer to taste, touch, smell, dive into and climb over my surroundings, not click click click photos from inside a hot car and think I've experienced a country. Salta had bungee jumping opportunities but I didn't have time to try it sadly. I WILL find a place to do it on my travels somewhere. I think that mental reference of such a leap of faith could be incredibly powerful.

We have arrived at the most peaceful place in the world. I see a flat grassy plain, a shallow bowl with a lake sitting gently at the bottom and horses punctuating the grass here and there. One has a foal wih her. Eagles glide lazily overhead. All is quiet except for the wind and the bell on a horses neck that chimes occasionally. I can imagine a buddist retreat being sited here. Sadly, our time was cut short and we had to leave. Such are the limitations of travelling with others. I would have liked to bring my guitar here and spend a few days practicing all day in the tranquility. This is a place for quiet reflection, meditation and skill building.

We are driving through a valley of craggy giants. Glaciers axed out a brutal path here once. Incredible.

We arrive in a town called Tilcara. It looks like a settlement from the old west. I half expect to see a Sheriff's office and a saloon. There are horses and everyone is wearing sombreros. We took lunch in a quiet restaurant, shaded from the midday heat. I ate llama, it was like beef a little but leaner and delicious.

We visited a village and admired the "seven coloured mountain" there. I bought an awesome hat in the market here. The air is very thin, Tom and I raced each other up the side of a hill, I won but barely and I was sucking air like a vacuum cleaner. I feel ALIVE here. This is truly living in the moment. There were some restored Inca ruins nearby, stone houses with mud roofs. I wonder how the roofs stand up to the rain? It must be very dry here. I climbed a small pyramid, this made Lily very upset. It was worth it though.

We arrived in a very poor town after a flat tire which Lily insisted on driving on for ten minutes before we finally convinced her to pull over and let us change it. Some of Lily's friends, a young couple with a toddler had invited us into their tiny one room apartment for dinner. I was touched by their generosity - a family with so little that they must share the one room with their kid and the kitchen, still were proud to share with us their food and home. Gives some perspective on home life. We were total strangers and yet they offered us their hospitality freely. Amazing people. There is hope for humanity after all!

Trying to sleep in the same hotel room as Lily. She snores like a freight train.

22/11

I need to spend less money. Right now I am exceeding my budget of $100AR a day. On the way to Formosa we are stopped by a roadblock. A group of protesters from the slums have blocked the road in an attempt to force the government to provide them with... something or other. The queue stretches for some kilometers. Ironically these people are unknowingly holding up the very industry that provides for them in the first place, I see a lot of trucks stuck here. Hell, they're holding US up and all we wanna do is give them free shoes! But due to a lack of education they have no understanding of this. These people have grown up in an environment where they have LEARNED HELPLESSNESS as a way of life. Everything they have was given to them so they never learned to create for themselves. Their reality consists of a largely unknown body that provides for them. It's not their fault, years of conditioning have cultivated this mentality, they never had the necessity of learning the concept of value trading that underpins all functional civilised societies. By giving out shoes, am I helping to solve a problem or perpetuate it?

There is a short term focus on fixing the SYMPTOMS of a problem whilst failing to recognise that this exacerbates the CAUSE. We cannot abandon people who are culturally and educationally impoverished, that would be inhumane. But a more callused, probably more unpopular approach is absolutely required or this country will drown under the crushing weight of socially defunct masses. A serious effort must be made in education, the over population problem must be addressed HARD. Perhaps use China as a model as they are the only country to have successfully dealt with these issues. Perhaps a concept of rewarding self-sufficiency with infrastructure improvements? Yes I believe this would cause starvation, screaming and begging in the short term. But necessity is the mother of invention and with enough pressure, natural human creativity will surface again and the people will start to help themselves. If a fat child cries for chocolate, is it kinder to give it to him and reward this behaviour, or withhold it knowing that this benefits him in the long run?

Today I undertook a beliefs exercise from my Tony Robbins book. I have been doing a few of these but I include this one because I was surprised and gratified to find out what my three most empowering beliefs are and I would like to share these with you.

1) No matter what happens, I can handle it.
2) If I work consistently towards achieving a goal, I will succeed.
3) There is always a way to turn things around if I am committed (shamelessly stolen from Tony).

Every time I am faced with a problem or challenge, I try to apply these three beliefs in order to help me arrive at a decent decision.

Tom is an interesting guy. We arrived tonight in Formosa to meet an old man called Carlos (another friend of Lily's, does she know everyone in this country?) who led us to a tiny house in a crazy dirt avenue. He drove the most ANCIENT blue rustbucked I have ever seen. It sounded as if the engine were full of rocks. After dinner, there was a dogfight in the house. The place is full of stray dogs. One of the dogs latched onto another's throat like a limpet and tried to choke the life out of it. The old man hit the attacking dog with a broom to no avail and it looked as if the victim dog really might die. I was bitten by my cousin's dog recently and I am still nervous around dogs, I am ashamed to admit I didn't want to go near them. But Tom leapt in and punched the offending dog repeatedly in the head until it let go. I spoke to him about the incident afterwards. He, interestingly, likened it to stepping in if he saw a woman about to be raped. He said it is important to act even if you are afraid. This is what courage really is. Not action without fear, but action in the face of fear. We must disregard the frightened animal within us and do what is right regardless. Would I have the balls to step in if I saw, for example, a woman about to be raped by three men? I think so. I sincerely hope so.

Some unknown, inner drive has led me to this place. Recognising how lucky I am in my own life, I try to follow a path that will bring some value to others. It is time to hold myself to a higher standard. Apparently I can tolerate one dog killing another in front of me without taking action, allowing myself to be paralyzed by fear. What core values do I hold that would have to be violated to truly compel me to act in circumstances such as these? Worth thinking about BEFORE we are actually faced with the real situation.

Now I sleep in a crazy tiny house on a rickety wooden bed in an unknown part of Formosa in the northwest of Argentina. Tomorrow we go to hand out a thousand pairs of shoes. I hope at least one pair makes a real difference to somebody.

23/11

We arise at 8:30, no time for breakfast, straight into loading boxes of shoes. Shod our first school by 10:30. I don't care that I haven't eaten. These kids were excited, grateful and ALIVE unlike the others we saw last week. I feel privileged to be a part of this endeavor, the shoes might actually make a difference in these kids! The distinction between these and the dead-eyed creatures living in the villages is EDUCATION. Therein lies the key. The school clapped and cheered as we left. I am buoyed by optimism and hope. We can make a difference! I found a louse in Marion's hair this morning. I hope I don't have them, that would suck GINORMOUS hairy balls. Tambien, estoy feliz hoy porque my espanol esta de nuevo mejor! In the afternoon, more throngs of excited, giggling (and sometimes even half disciplined!) children. Put a lot of shoes on dirty little feet. I am hot, it is 35 degrees and hellishly humid, unwashed and hungry but satisfied.

I'd like to make some comments about Argentina in general while I remember, unrelated to shoes. Firstly, get a grip guys, your diet SUCKS. Loads of bread, pastry, very fatty meats and sweets. Also pizza. My personal pet hate is this crap called dulce de leche (literally: sweet of milk) that they cram into, onto or over anything they can. It's just boiled down milk with sugar and it tastes gross as well as being incredibly bad for you. We are lucky that our current hosts grow a lot of their own vegetables so my diet has taken an upward swing.

Secondly, the Argentine driving, Jesus Christ. They drive like a panicked horde of rats, desperately trying to claw split seconds from each other. Lane markings may as well not be there and they play a game of "anticipate the green light" at traffic lights - by the time it goes green, most of them are long gone. And god help you if you're a pedestrian, they don't slow down when you cross even on the zebra crossings, they just flash and honk at you until you dive out of the way. Lily has performed some overtake manouvres that would cause Schumacker to wet himself in terror and we have only barely avoided becoming churri-pan on the front of a four wagon semi more than once.

I managed a human flag today, pretty proud of that. My guitar playing is also going well, 2.5 hours today. But I don't think it's enough. Dabbling in something shows INTEREST. But if you truly want to elevate this interest to a COMMITMENT, 30 minutes of practice a day is not enough. Neither is 2 hours a day.

COMMITMENT is 6 hours a day, 6 days a week, for 6 months. Can I increase my efforts to this level? I don't know. But its a good goal to shoot for and with gradual improvement every day maybe I can get close. I will try to commit more to guitar.


To be continued...